'Lost Love'
För dom som ids läsa. Hittade en gammal novell jag skrev ett par år tillbaka. Ett av mina första försök till att skriva så den är väl inte så välskriven, men för de som har lust att läsa något jag skrivit, varsågod.
I didn’t know you, and you didn’t know me. But that magical moment between us was unlike anything I had ever felt. And I knew I had to have you.
I looked at myself in the mirror, feared that awful look as always. But I couldn’t feel blue right now. There was a party going on in the other room, and it was time to forget the depressing problems in my life, even if for just one evening. I pushed the bad thoughts away, and put on a nice faked smile, fixed my red top and fluffed up my hair once again. “Okey. Here we go.“ ,I thought to myself, kind of to give myself a pep-talk, which really didn’t work that well but that was all I could do of the moment.
I went out the door and my friends came rushing towards me and hugged me. “Yay! There you are! We were looking for you. Thought you’d left or something.“ ,said my awfully good looking best friend. I had always admired her looks. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body.. Oh, and so smart that she could win over a college professor in a quiz contest. “Hey you!,“ I laughed polite. “Of course not. Why would I leave? I’m here to party!“ - “PARTY!“,shouted all of my friends in the room. Some of them had already gotten a bit drunk, so they were even more kind now than they were sober.
My best friend Lucy took my hand and dragged me to the living room where the others sat. It felt a bit like elementary school. You know where the girls sat in one corner and the boys in the other corner across the room? So it had happened here and we were all 18 now. Maybe those sorts of stuff don’t out-grow you. You can only be with the guys if you’re drunk I mean. Me, on the other hand liked the company of guys more than girls. I felt more comfortable. They had more fun things to discuss than the girls for one thing, and they had liquor.
After a long while of drinking, discussing childbirth, cars, school and probably many more things that I had successfully blocked out, we were about to hit the club. I was eager to go there and to be able to dance. It was my passion in life, even though don’t think that I’m very good at it, but I’m staying positive. When we got there, there wasn’t any line which was totally awesome ‘because standing in lines is something everyone hates. My legs were freezing from the cold outside, and then I blew some hot air on my hands to see if I could still feel, and for the record, I could. We all hung our clothes off in the wardrobe and went inside. The beautiful colored lights hit the dance floor and I felt the urge to dance once again. My friends just wanted to drink before dancing, so I hit the dance floor on my own. I didn’t mind it. To be alone is something that I’m already used to. And while dancing, I definitely don’t care whether I’m with someone or not. Then I saw you.
A man whom I thought I'd met before but couldn't remember when. It was like I was stunned by some invisible force, all I wanted to do was to get closer. I went back to my friends. “Do you know that guy over there?“ ,I asked them trying not to sound like I was going to hit on him, even though I was. “No, not really. He looks foreign though. Why?“ They all had a suspicious looks on their faces, like they knew what I was trying to hide. The man watched me with an intense look in his eyes. His black hair reflected nicely from the lights. “No, nothing. I.. um.. thought he looked like someone I’ve seen before.“ I must get closer to him, but how? I went to the bathroom to check that my make-up hadn’t been blurred. It was fine. My eye-shadow was fine, and the eyeliner also. I sat down on one of the toilets and breathed calmly. How could I be this nervous? And most importantly, could I really be something that a guy like him would want? I didn’t have time to ask these questions. I had to see him again.
I opened the bathroom door quickly and I bumped in to someone. It was him! “You are the one I’ve been looking for.“ He looked with his tropical colored eyes and said. “W-what? What are you saying? I think you have mistaken me for someone else.“ I didn’t know what to do. So I tried to move, but he took a hold of one of my arms and slided me against the wall. “No. I have not mistaken anything. It is you.“ The handsome man's voice calmed me in some unexplainable way. He took my hand and held it while leaning slowly towards me. I couldn’t move, my heart beating faster as ever. He then took his other hand and caressed my chin slowly, leaning in closer to me. Time seemed to move slowly and one second felt like several minutes, a tenderness warm feeling occurred on my lips. I found his kiss irresistible, like a yearning that I’d felt for ages suddenly coming true. At that moment something happened. Old memories flashed before my eyes, sort of like an old movie. Blurry vision, radiating with bad colors, not being able to catch a grip. I think the memories were mine. It must have been somewhere around the 16th century. Everything seemed old, and foggy. I couldn’t stop at one specific moment, they all just rushed in to my mind. I saw the man standing under a tree waving towards me with a broad smile, and we were happy. That moment quickly passed and then all I could see was flames. I felt like something was burning, a smoldering heat. Then I saw myself, it was I who was on fire! I had ropes wrapped around my waist and hands so I couldn't move from the fire, they were tied hard almost causing my wrists to start bleeding. My husband came running from a hill yelling with tears in his eyes. A devastation, like all of his dreams were crushed. Like the love of his life were dying.. I saw myself crying and screaming for someone to help, but no one did! The people around just stood there watching, standing on their guards like they thought I was going to attack them at any second. An ache in my heart came over me, it stopped beating. I can imagine that this is how it must feel when you get stabbed, something sharp hitting your body, I was dying. A sudden flash came over me and brought me back to the present. I felt his lips on mine again, and noticed that tears ran down my wan skin.
My eyes slowly opened and I said; "You found me."
I didn’t know you, and you didn’t know me. But that magical moment between us was unlike anything I had ever felt. And I knew I had to have you.
I looked at myself in the mirror, feared that awful look as always. But I couldn’t feel blue right now. There was a party going on in the other room, and it was time to forget the depressing problems in my life, even if for just one evening. I pushed the bad thoughts away, and put on a nice faked smile, fixed my red top and fluffed up my hair once again. “Okey. Here we go.“ ,I thought to myself, kind of to give myself a pep-talk, which really didn’t work that well but that was all I could do of the moment.
I went out the door and my friends came rushing towards me and hugged me. “Yay! There you are! We were looking for you. Thought you’d left or something.“ ,said my awfully good looking best friend. I had always admired her looks. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body.. Oh, and so smart that she could win over a college professor in a quiz contest. “Hey you!,“ I laughed polite. “Of course not. Why would I leave? I’m here to party!“ - “PARTY!“,shouted all of my friends in the room. Some of them had already gotten a bit drunk, so they were even more kind now than they were sober.
My best friend Lucy took my hand and dragged me to the living room where the others sat. It felt a bit like elementary school. You know where the girls sat in one corner and the boys in the other corner across the room? So it had happened here and we were all 18 now. Maybe those sorts of stuff don’t out-grow you. You can only be with the guys if you’re drunk I mean. Me, on the other hand liked the company of guys more than girls. I felt more comfortable. They had more fun things to discuss than the girls for one thing, and they had liquor.
After a long while of drinking, discussing childbirth, cars, school and probably many more things that I had successfully blocked out, we were about to hit the club. I was eager to go there and to be able to dance. It was my passion in life, even though don’t think that I’m very good at it, but I’m staying positive. When we got there, there wasn’t any line which was totally awesome ‘because standing in lines is something everyone hates. My legs were freezing from the cold outside, and then I blew some hot air on my hands to see if I could still feel, and for the record, I could. We all hung our clothes off in the wardrobe and went inside. The beautiful colored lights hit the dance floor and I felt the urge to dance once again. My friends just wanted to drink before dancing, so I hit the dance floor on my own. I didn’t mind it. To be alone is something that I’m already used to. And while dancing, I definitely don’t care whether I’m with someone or not. Then I saw you.
A man whom I thought I'd met before but couldn't remember when. It was like I was stunned by some invisible force, all I wanted to do was to get closer. I went back to my friends. “Do you know that guy over there?“ ,I asked them trying not to sound like I was going to hit on him, even though I was. “No, not really. He looks foreign though. Why?“ They all had a suspicious looks on their faces, like they knew what I was trying to hide. The man watched me with an intense look in his eyes. His black hair reflected nicely from the lights. “No, nothing. I.. um.. thought he looked like someone I’ve seen before.“ I must get closer to him, but how? I went to the bathroom to check that my make-up hadn’t been blurred. It was fine. My eye-shadow was fine, and the eyeliner also. I sat down on one of the toilets and breathed calmly. How could I be this nervous? And most importantly, could I really be something that a guy like him would want? I didn’t have time to ask these questions. I had to see him again.
I opened the bathroom door quickly and I bumped in to someone. It was him! “You are the one I’ve been looking for.“ He looked with his tropical colored eyes and said. “W-what? What are you saying? I think you have mistaken me for someone else.“ I didn’t know what to do. So I tried to move, but he took a hold of one of my arms and slided me against the wall. “No. I have not mistaken anything. It is you.“ The handsome man's voice calmed me in some unexplainable way. He took my hand and held it while leaning slowly towards me. I couldn’t move, my heart beating faster as ever. He then took his other hand and caressed my chin slowly, leaning in closer to me. Time seemed to move slowly and one second felt like several minutes, a tenderness warm feeling occurred on my lips. I found his kiss irresistible, like a yearning that I’d felt for ages suddenly coming true. At that moment something happened. Old memories flashed before my eyes, sort of like an old movie. Blurry vision, radiating with bad colors, not being able to catch a grip. I think the memories were mine. It must have been somewhere around the 16th century. Everything seemed old, and foggy. I couldn’t stop at one specific moment, they all just rushed in to my mind. I saw the man standing under a tree waving towards me with a broad smile, and we were happy. That moment quickly passed and then all I could see was flames. I felt like something was burning, a smoldering heat. Then I saw myself, it was I who was on fire! I had ropes wrapped around my waist and hands so I couldn't move from the fire, they were tied hard almost causing my wrists to start bleeding. My husband came running from a hill yelling with tears in his eyes. A devastation, like all of his dreams were crushed. Like the love of his life were dying.. I saw myself crying and screaming for someone to help, but no one did! The people around just stood there watching, standing on their guards like they thought I was going to attack them at any second. An ache in my heart came over me, it stopped beating. I can imagine that this is how it must feel when you get stabbed, something sharp hitting your body, I was dying. A sudden flash came over me and brought me back to the present. I felt his lips on mine again, and noticed that tears ran down my wan skin.
My eyes slowly opened and I said; "You found me."
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